I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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