I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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