ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
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It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
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I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It's shark week go big or go home
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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