I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize