How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize