I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize