its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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