Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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