Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
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