My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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