everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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