1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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