A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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