i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
tell me about the fingering
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