Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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