you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
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So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
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So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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