Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize