Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
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