Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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