Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize