My liver just broke up with me...
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize