looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
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