Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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