fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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