I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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