i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
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i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
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Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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