in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize