worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
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You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
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Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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