I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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