his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize