Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
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I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
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I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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