I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
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She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Randomize