She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
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I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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