Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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