he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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