He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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