Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize