Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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