The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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