just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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