some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
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No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
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I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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