Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize