Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
no. you can't hotbox the world.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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