My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
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And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
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