you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
BRING THE BAGELS
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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