If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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