i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
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