To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
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Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
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Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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