can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize