: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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